Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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