What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Chinese drivers.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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