Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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