Where do babies come from? My garage

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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