(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops