Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Pickles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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