what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

What is cold? Winter

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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