A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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You.

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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