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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

Butt Sex.

What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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