Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

Your mom walks into a bar.

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

69

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

British Dentistry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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