Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

Knock knock. Who's there?

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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