Your mom walks into a bar.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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JFK

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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yeah..

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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