This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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