Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Cows go moo.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Hello

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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