How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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