Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Penis

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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i cant think of one.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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