What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

24

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Not mine I want no credit...these were made by two genius's What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops