What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

Women's rights

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

My butt!!!!!!!!

What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

What time is it? 10:58

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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