What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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zebras

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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Hi

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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