How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

Blind people can't read this.

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

Why did the man burn all the children? He was a psychopath.

What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

What did the black man say to the other black man. We're both niggas.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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