What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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