What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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