How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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96

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops