A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

Straight men can be bronies.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

I have Alzheimer. What?

a potato flew around my room

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

Nock Nock It's open.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...