A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Justin bieber is a loser! One Direction all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If you are my friend like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats better than an anti joke? Having sex with a supermodle

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops