Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Women's rights

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops