Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Yo momma is so fat that we are incredibly concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What isn't funny? The holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

FUCK YOU NEVEN

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

thumb_up thumb_down +41

OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops