how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

thumb_up thumb_down -106

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

thumb_up thumb_down -112

What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops