Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A joke were created last night and was so funny! But this is not the case

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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