What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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