This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Have you heard that Hitler and Osama Bin Laden share a room with saton in hell

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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