What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's shaped like a tree? a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops