What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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