Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what's red and blue? your heart

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

rebecca is a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I am a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops