Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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myspace

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Snausages.

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why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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ecks! why zee?

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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