Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

BOOBALANBOO

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

thumb_up thumb_down -12

eloise dey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops