A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Matt is not funny.

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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miley cyrus

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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Matty B

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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