What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Snooki

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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A whale's vagina

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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