What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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what happens during a climax apples

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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bob saget

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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