How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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obama

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Guess What! HI!

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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