Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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How did th-A fridge.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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