"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

Obama

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

An Irish man walks out of a bra.

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

What causes floods? Too much water.

Homosexuals are gay.

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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