2 women were sitting quietly

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Woman's rights.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops