Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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i cant think of one.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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