A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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a man died

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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