Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An asian without a future.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops