How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

ecks! why zee?

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

So a seal walks into a club..

Women's rights.

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

Their, they're, there You're, your

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

Good luck on your finals everyone!

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

Do you know what's not right? Left.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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