A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Like if you like big tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +40

0123456789

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Heartlight

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops