So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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LOL May Wong

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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