Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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LOL May Wong

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Bloody kids ...

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops