Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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religion.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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Ham sandwich

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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for keeps?

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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