violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +15

47

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man in a country bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops