Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

poo is yummy

I have a crush on my dad.

Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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