How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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Soccer...

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops